Programme: Lekki Soul Centre (LSC)
Date: Wednesday, 6th March 2024
One of the things the Lord dropped in my heart for our parents (Rev Kayode and Rev Helen Oyegoke) while I was praying and waiting is that "it is their season of eternal excellence". It is also a season of their eternal legacy; they are stepping into their eternal legacy. It is a season where God is going to establish our parents as eternal legacies for many generations. The Lord Jesus is looking for such unions that He can adopt and make a standard for many generations. The Lord has been faithful in their lives and He wants to establish that as a legacy. God wants to use this union as a standard for many generations.
Isaiah 60:14-15
“The sons also of them that afflicted thee shall come bending unto thee; and all they that despised thee shall bow themselves down at the soles of thy feet; and they shall call thee, The city of the LORD, The Zion of the Holy One of Israel. [15] Whereas thou hast been forsaken and hated, so that no man went through thee, I will make thee an eternal excellency, a joy of many generations.”
It is also a season of everlasting honour. The Lord is saying He is going to adopt this union as a standard of faithfulness, integrity, love and the grace of God for many generations to come. Twenty five is a significant number and year in marriage (referring to the wedding anniversary of our parents). The next twenty five years will be years of the Lord’s greatest faithfulness. The work that will make them an eternal excellency has already begun.
Marriage should fulfill the mystery between Christ and the Church. This means God’s expectation for marriages is that they will fulfill the prophecy in His heart – one in which He has ordained the Church to represent a perfect union as touching the relationship with our Lord Jesus. God’s expectation for us is that we come into a perfect union.
Ephesians 5:24-32
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. [25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word…[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
To be a subject is not out of vogue. Paul is telling us here that the union between a husband and wife is a great mystery. The end product of marriage is to produce a perfect union that represents the union between Christ and the Church when the Church comes into her full bridal state.
We are going to look at the principles that should guard our hearts. “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33). Apostle Paul, in this verse, summarized the whole epistle and gave commandments to men and women. There are five things concerning the standard of God for the husbands: love, to live or dwell, to know, to honour, and to pray.
According to the scriptures, there are three standards concerning how husbands should love their wives. The first standard of love for the husband is that He is a savior. When we hear teachings on marriage, it always looks as if the woman has the most difficult commandment. However, the commandment given to the man is tougher, according to the scriptures. The standard of God for a man is that he is to be a savior in his home. To be a savior means he is a deliverer. A man is supposed to be a 'Moses' in his home; this talks about the standard of God in terms of how Moses delivered the whole Children of Israel from Egypt. Jesus died for us when we were not looking for him; this is His proof of love as One who is a Savior. Scripture says, "...while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom. 5:8). This means the love of a man for his wife is death (having been commanded to love the same way Christ loved the Church - Eph. 5:25).
Tongues and Interpretation (1)
“Thank you Lord Jesus. My kind of man, My model man, even the man that I raised, even the saving man. Even the man that will go all out, even for to save, even the man that is patterned after Me, even the man that is patterned even after My order. Oh for what greater love can a man have than for to lay down his life, even My kind of a man that can lay down his life; that can lay down his life even for his wife; that can lay down his life even for his family; that can protect his home; that can save even to the point of death; that can give himself even fully for the redemption of his home. My kind of man, for I am raising again even in these last days, even My kind of man, even My men that will walk upon the face of the earth. My men that will beautify marriage again. My men that will make the home lovely. My men that will make men come and say, “we want to enjoy even the beautiful covenant that is in marriage.” Even My kind of a man that can stay with a woman even for fifty years, even for seventy years. My kind of a man, even like Adam that I raised even in the beginning, that could live with Eve even for nine hundred years. Even My kind of man after the order of the New Testament. My high man, My heavenly man, My dead man. My man that considers not his life, My man that lays down his life. Saith the Lord Jesus.”
(Message continues…)
To love your wife is to lay down your life for her; this is how you show that you are committed to her. Our Lord Jesus gave us everything by giving Himself to us; this is how He became the standard. If a man is losing his life (self) because he is loving his wife, then such a man is welcome to the company of saviors.
Jesus Christ was pierced on the cross and blood flowed out of His body. The place where blood flowed out is where the bride (the Church) comes from, which tells us that what makes (builds/saves) a wife is a man's death. When a husband loses his life to make/build/save a woman, it is the proof that our Lord Jesus Christ was raised as a standard for men. To fulfill this standard as men, we must be committed to the formation of God's image in our lives. Our Lord Jesus, being the standard, has called men to be saviors. Our love should administer salvation to our wives. Loving our wives is the total end to every expression of self. God designed the love for our wives in such a way that when we are loving our wives, we are dying in the process.
Reverend Kayode Oyegoke taught us that we have two types of Lamb: Amnos and Amnion. "Amnos" is the sacrificial Lamb that was sacrificed on the cross. Our Lord Jesus Christ was sacrificed as a Lamb on the cross. Husbands must be sacrificed as lambs in order to fulfill the highest purpose of God in marriage. This is what it means to be a savior. A savior is one that lays down his life; this is the first proof of love from a man to his wife.
The second proof is that the husband is a sanctifier. To sanctify means to consecrate and make holy, and the tool for sanctification is water. The first thing that a husband should have is water, not house or car. Any man who does not have water is not a man and is not fit to be a husband. What ought to be in every husband is the water that can wash a woman. When a man marries a woman, he marries her past. Everybody brings baggage from their different homes; this is why a man has to be prepared before stepping into marriage. Part of the preparation is to be well equipped with water to wash the soul.
Men ought not to complain about their wives. The second proof of love from a man to a woman is that he is a sanctifier. Men are laborers and they must get to work to build the kind of women (wives) they want. The standard is that the man will present that woman to himself. When it comes to the formation of God's image, the man should be ahead because the woman should be able to look up to him.
Submission is not a message the husband should be preaching to his wife. Rather, he ought to earn it. One who is washed will always submit to the one who did the washing. Naturally, submission comes as an act of love. To sanctify is to set apart or consecrate. The husband ought to consecrate his wife, that is, to set her apart for special use. God wants to use the man’s home and his wife; this is why the husband must set her apart. God wants to make the husband and wife to be perfected as glory vessels.
The purpose of water is to deal with sin and death. Spots are sins, deaths are wrinkles (Eph. 5:27). A home can be full of sin and death, but the Lord wants our homes to be fresh. A marriage without wrinkles is possible. Women want to be loved and appreciated; they want to be remarried. The tool for sanctification is water. Husbands have expectations from their wives; this is why they must do more washing for their wives to meet those expectations. There is a version of every wife in Eternal Life; that is what the husband should desire to see.
The third proof is that husbands must cherish their wives. To cherish is to honor. The way a man talks to his wife is a good way to measure his level of honour for her. A man's level of honour for his wife is revealed in the way he addresses his wife. To cherish is to honor, respect, to value and value something. Nobody malhandles anything they honour. To cherish the wife is to satisfy, treasure, nurture, and take care of her. Although money is needed to take care of the wife, what is most needed in marriage is love. Love is needed to cherish and nurture a woman, so husbands need plenty of it. To cherish means to give time and attention; it is to communicate. Oftentimes, men struggle to communicate with their wives because they are used to getting things done. However, they must learn to communicate and give attention.
Some brothers have complained that their wives do not know how to pray or study the word. The solution is for the husband to pray and study with the wife. If the wife is stressed from nurturing the baby during service, the husband can take charge of the baby for her to focus on the word. Men must make sure that they cherish their wives. Love is three things: salvation, sanctification, and cherishing. Also, we are to live with our wives. Another word for “live” is to dwell. To live with our wives is to dwell in harmony and close intimacy with them. God’s standard for intimacy is very high. To live in harmony is for the husband and wife to be closely knitted in their hearts.
The home is in the house. There can be a house without a home. The home is a spiritual habitation: of peace, joy, comfort, oneness, strength, and affection. This means one can have a home without owning a house. One can also have the smallest of houses and have a home therein. God gave our father (Reverend Kayode Oyegoke) a home before he had a house. Men should have a home of peace and joy with their wives.
The union of parents (Reverend Kayode Oyegoke and Reverend Helen Oyegoke) has built a habitation for many of us to find refuge in. The Lord wants to, by this union, build an ark that many nations will find refuge in. Their relationship (marriage) is meant to be an ark for many who are still coming – many battered homes are still coming to have refuge in your home.
Secondly, husbands have to learn to live with their wives. They should build a home where they can live. Whatever we build is what we meet; this is why husbands must build a dwelling place with their wives. The second thing about living with your wife is that you must be committed to her. Love is fortified in unwavering commitments. Most women want their husbands more than what their husbands could give them. A man finds it easy to give things, but giving himself is a difficult task. Jesus did not just give things; He also gave Himself. Jesus gave gifts; but much more than gifts, He gave Himself. Likewise, husbands have to give themselves in commitment to their wives. That is how Jesus wants us to show and express love. The wife must know that the husband is with her and will always be with her, no matter what. This means husbands have to step up their game.
Thirdly, husbands should know their wives. A woman is the hardest book to study after the Bible. She exhibits new traits by the day. Hence, the need to dwell with her with knowledge. Knowledge, understanding, skill and grace are needed to know a woman (1 Pet. 3:7). A man needs the understanding of the Lord’s ways to know a woman. A man that does not know the Lord's ways has failed. Such a one will need the grace of God to relate to and handle his wife. A man needs to handle her wife in her present state. A woman should not only be known by her present state but also by her future. A man should be a seer so that he can gradually use patience to move his wife into her future.
The man ought to journey with the woman from her present state of infirmity to her place of strength; that is the standard of God. As such, a man should be ahead in his formation. He should always be ahead In formation. It is a healthy competition for the wife to be unable to catch up with the man. She must continually be looking ahead to the man. A man cannot bring so much covering if he is not ahead in formation. The man must be a step ahead in formation because the woman must be able to see Jesus in her husband, and much more, a father in him. Afterall, she was handed to the man by her father, so it is important for the husband to be a father to her.
To be a father means to be a covering and a standard. It was not a small thing for Sarah to call her husband ‘lord’ (1 Pet. 3:6). This title is not what a husband should demand from his wife; it is talking about how a husband must come into the essence of being a lord. A husband should be a 'reverend' in his home. A reverend is a holy man and one without blame. He is the first to apologize when there is a fight in the home; this is because peace is more important to him than winning the fight.
Fourthly, husbands should honor their wives. Marriage is honorable, and as such, our wives are honorable women. We ought to treat women honorably because we want them to be honorable. Women are special and must be appreciated, shown deep affection, and treated as co-heirs and equals of the grace of God. In alignment of order, the husband is above, while the wife is directly below. Anyone who wants to be a reverend should make his wife honorable.
Lastly, men ought to pray for their wives. Men are often found to complain more than they pray. One of the greatest prayers that a woman can receive is the one that comes from the husband; this is because Jesus honors it. The Lord listens to the prayers of husbands for their wives; this is why men are encouraged to pray for their wives. However, the manner in which a man treats his wife can open or close his heaven. This means how the man treats his wife can bring answers or hindrances to his prayers. Men are required to pray for their wives and much more, treat them well so that their prayers will not be hindered.
The admonition for wives is for them to be subject to their husbands. Submission and being subject are interpreted in Greek as ‘hupotasso’. The only thing the Lord wants women to do is to submit. To be meek and have a quiet spirit are derivatives of reverence. The woman has to find grace to revere. A woman who does not know the Lord (1 Pet. 3:5) cannot revere a man. Men are full of mistakes and it would take a lot of strength from the woman to reverence such a one. Some men insist on a decision their wives are not in full support of, and yet the wives still have to manage the situation, treating the man with honor and reverence. If a woman does not know the Lord, she cannot be subject to a man and please Jesus thereby. A woman cannot give Jesus excuses with regards to why she cannot submit; if she does, Jesus would remind her of ancient and holy women (1 Pet. 3:5).
1 Peter 3:1
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives…”
A woman should embody the conversations of the word. She should be a living word. The idea of a woman not knowing the word is very unbiblical. A woman can teach the Bible without talking. Men want to see a chaste conversation coupled with fear (1 Pet. 3:2).
1 Peter 3:3-6
“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [5] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [6] Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Everything written in the scripture above are derivatives of reverence. We need to go back to the old times/ways. We ought to thank God for Reverend Helen Oyegoke, who through the women's forum expression of the ministry, is taking us back to the old times/ways. A woman cannot fulfill the commandment of Jesus for marriage if she does not trust in the Lord. To adorn yourself as a wife is to be in subjection under your husband.
Tongues and Interpretation (2)
“Oh, do not say in your heart that it is not attainable, for you have examples ahead of you; examples even in your company ahead of you. Yea, you have examples. You have many that have walked even this same path even beyond how it has been painted even this afternoon. You have many in front of you. Do not say it is not attainable, for the blood of Jesus, even the Spirit of God, even the provisions of heaven that are in your spirit, that your soul is learning of will make it attainable, just agree. Agree and follow the leading of My Spirit. Follow those instructions you have ignored up till now. Follow those instructions. Follow them, for that is how you will break into this lofty and noble life that I am painting.
I am painting it for you to see it. To see it, this is what I require of you as a home that is a holder even of the covenant of marriage, even in the end times. For in the end times, marriage would suffer a lot of attack but I want to use your home. I want to use your home to maintain the standards of righteousness even concerning marriage in the earth. You are part of that company. Do not say it is not attainable. Do not say it is not attainable, it is evil spirits that are whispering even in your heart that “she cannot change, he cannot change”. As long as there is life, there is hope, and you are blessed for you are around waters that can save homes; that can save lives; that can save souls. You are part of that company. Do not excuse yourself. Lay hold on the provision that I am making available even through the words of grace.
I hear grace. I hear grace. There is much grace even in the house today. Lean forward and take of that grace and walk in the leading of the Spirit, and see your home change; see your spouse change; see the atmosphere in your home be transformed into one that will accommodate angels, even accommodate angels. See to it that you see that it is attainable. I hold you even to this. I have spoken to you because I want you to change and I will bring forth that change even as you agree with the standards and the provisions I have made, says the Spirit of God.”
(Message continues…)
We ought to thank Reverend Helen Oyegoke, because as a result of her teachings, we now have better wives and homes. This is not just about what she teaches; her commitment to live out the life of submission has healed a lot of us. So, it is evident that the life of submission is not hard; many people are living it out.
In the end, God’s expectation is that all of us end up becoming the Lamb’s wife through our marriages — this is the purpose of marriage. When it comes to our relationship with Jesus, both men and women are all expected to be the Lamb's wife. At the end of the day, marriage is supposed to produce a lambic nature in both the man and the woman. Our prayer is that every home would be a tool in the hand of the Lord, leading us into the state where we can enter into a perfect union with our Lord Jesus, who is the Bridegroom.
Blessings!