Eternal Glorious Fountain Ministries (EGFM)
Programme: Sister's Meeting 2022
Date: Saturday, 14th May 2022
Speaker 2: Rev. (Mrs.) Stella Ajetumobi
“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: [34] There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” (1 Cor. 7:32,34). The unmarried is expected to please the Lord completely — both within (in their minds) and without (with their bodies). This is what it means to be holy. Holiness means being true to yourself and to God, even before you can be true to others. If you are true to yourself, you will be helped. But if you claim to be in a position which you really are not in, you are not being true to yourself.
God moves generationally, so does the cloud of glory. If you are not moving with the dealings of God in your generation, you are backsliding. It is by moving with the cloud of glory that you will stay safe and understand what the Lord is doing at that time. If you realize that you are not connecting, you should cry to Him for help. Nonetheless, you must be true to yourself.
A virgin that is holy is one who is too focused on God to be distracted. Her standard should be Jesus and her gaze should be set on Him (Heb. 12:2). Jesus is sufficient, if only you can continue to look and stay focused on Him. In Him all things consist (Col. 1:17), for everyone has a place in God. It does not matter your situation, Jesus is large enough to accommodate you.
Apart from people who have never been married, another category of people who are single are those whose spouses have died (widows). Your spouse is a loan to you and a day will come when the Creator will call him home. So, do not waste your “loan” time on fights. Instead, you should enjoy yourselves in your marriage.
Another category of single people are those who sincerely went into marriage, but had to leave the marriage through divorce. However, God will also pardon the time of ignorance and mismanagement of those marriages (Acts 17:30). We are the ones who call it divorce, but God has a way to repair broken bridges.
There is also the category of those who are separated. The essence of marriage is for togetherness (Gen. 2:24). We should not do long distance marriages and those who are in such situations should do something about it. Irrespective of your state however (divorced, separated, or a fresh single), you have a place in God and He has a place for you. We can see examples of such women in the lives of Naomi and Ruth.
“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; [4] Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” (2 Cor. 1:3-4). If you are hurting from any situation, you should allow yourself to be healed; especially if you have lost your husband. Do not also stay down for too long when you are cast down because that is not the plan of God for you.
The fourth set of people are the mature singles. It may look like time has gone, but God is the one who can redeem times and seasons. Do not compare yourself with anyone. Sometimes also, there are things that delay some women in getting married — it could be pride or lack of knowledge of what they need to be prepared for marriage. A christian sister should marry from among her brethren. In the company of God’s people, your lifestyle is not hidden. This is why you need to submit yourself to learn from the older women (Tit. 2:3-4).
“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” (Psa. 32:8). The younger ones should allow the Lord to lead and instruct them. God always speaks to His children. The Bible says that God protectively cares for the faithful (1 Sam. 2:9). He cannot groom you and end up dumping you because He is jealous over you (2 Cor. 11:2). Those who are yet to marry are not lesser than those who are married. Marriage is good and honourable (Heb. 13:4), but not everybody is even permitted to marry.
Some people have given themselves to God, and as a result of this commitment and responsibility, they would not get married (Matt. 19:12). You have to be permitted to marry before you go into marriage. In marriage, it is not enough to just love your spouse. You have to be wired for his dark days otherwise, you will not be able to endure.
You can have the baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues and also marry a tongue-talking brother, but it does not automatically guarantee that you will have a christain home. Marriage is a sharpener; it has a way of sharpening your edges, so that you can be presented to God. It takes two disciples (men who are dead to themselves, the world and the culture of men and are lost in Christ) to marry each other.
The best place to do the will of God is in the home. When two tongue-talking christians marry each other but do not push the principles of Christ in their home, they cannot have a christian home. A christain home is born when two people who are dead to the world push the principles of the kingdom, in order to have the result of the kingdom in their home. This is regardless of what the culture around them upholds. There are a lot of christains who are not practicing christianity in their marriages. A christian home should be run after the order in the kingdom, irrespective of your tribe or nation.
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Gal. 6:7). The true test of a christian home is by its foundation. If the storms come and the home is still able to stand, then Jesus is truly the Lord of such a home. There are some decisions that pastors cannot take for you; this is why you need to be true to yourself. Marriage is a three-legged race because it involves the husband, the wife and God. Therefore, you must be careful not to choose a spouse without the leading of God, for you will live with that choice for the rest of your earthly life. God speaks progressively, He also persuades progressively and you should experience this in your courtship period.
Our times of communion with the Holy Spirit are avenues for Him to correct us, especially when we are going astray. Part of our inheritance as believers is discernment. Before you go into marriage, ensure you know the destination of the other person. It is possible to hear God expressly, just like Peter and Cornelius did. We have not received a different Holy Spirit. God speaks clearly; He does not mince words. He is still talking today, so we should wait for Him.
There are different types of marriages. The first set are the ones who left Jesus when He was speaking to them. When the storm came, He showed up and calmed it down. This shows us that it is better to hold onto Jesus. The second set are those who have given Jesus a “pillow” to rest because they want Him to be silent and not involved in their affairs. They want to manage their marriages according to their own desires and seek counsel from psychologists or friends. But when the storm should come, just like the disciples, they will remember Jesus and go to wake Him (Matt. 8:24-26).
Do not give a 'pillow' to Jesus when you get married. Instead, you should let Him be the loudest speaker in your marriage. If you are looking for multiple joy in your home, you should let Jesus speak. Let Him be the one who will lead and guide you. Many of the things that are happening in our society now are happening because men have introduced sensuality, instead of spirituality to their marriages. We must therefore be careful of those sensual teachings. Some of such teachings encourage wives to tame their husbands but this is sensual and can be likened to witchcraft. In the kingdom of God, where we belong, our husbands must have 'wings to fly' and as they spread out, we must find our niche under their wings.
God can still do something in the lives of the matured singles, divorcees and widows, if they believe in Him. Due to pride and lack of knowledge, many miss their timing. Some even refuse the will of God because of a wrong revelation. This is why we must submit to spiritual authority to judge the revelations we think we have, so that they can be tested and proven. We must not allow Satan to isolate, confuse and keep us in darkness by wrong revelations.
Any woman who is separated or divorced should submit to spiritual authority for help, if she wants to venture into marriage again. One of the problems we have in today’s generation is that there is no true submission to spiritual authority, that is, submission from the heart. We must submit genuinely, so that we can receive guided help. A young widow needs guided help and should submit absolutely. Singles must submit indeed but many have not gained help because they are not submitting well. We must choose God because He is our reward in life (Psa. 16:5).
We must not lose God but grow up into Him in all things. Make sure that you are not in one spot because if you are, you will dry up. We must keep growing and not be stagnant. We must grow so that we do not remain stagnant.
We must also attend the school of wisdom for life, and this is in different levels. The first is the spiritual school. We all know in parts, so we must defer to the people God has placed over us. We must be well rounded and sound Christians. We must also understand the call of God upon our lives and submit to His purpose.
The second school is the ‘home school’. As believers, we must submit to our biological parents and receive the training that they give us from home. There are things we should learn from home. We must learn how to take care of the home (how to be domestic) and also be able to listen to the corrections and instructions of our parents. We must learn how to manage and use resources well. We must also learn how to respect other people from home.
The third school is the business school. You need to learn how to be economical and how to manage finances, and we must receive instructions from the Lord on how to do this. We must also have the attitude of saving, as God permits. As singles, we must follow God's plan. Many times, some people cannot submit to learn the other things that God will have them learn because they are so fixed on marriage. Life is in stages, therefore, other areas of your life should not suffer, even as you are not married.
The fourth is the social school. We must learn how to relate with people and keep relationships. Relationships require a lot of investment and we must be willing to make good friends. Isolation is not a good thing; it is not the Lord's will for us to stay alone (Ecc. 4:9-10). Another school is the vocational school. We must be skillful, just like David was (1 Sam. 16:18). Apart from our professional qualifications, we can also learn a vocation, but as the Lord directs. The schools of the wisdom of life prepare us for where God is taking us. When we are well prepared and get married to the right person, our marriages will work.
We must choose the path of honour. We must submit to the authority which God has placed wherever we find ourselves, be it in the church, at home or at our places of work. The proof of meekness is submission. We must also submit to one another (Eph. 5:21). We must seek to wash the feet of the saints. We must not seek to be served but rather learn and seek to serve others. We encounter blessings that we do not expect in the place of service, but many are too resentful. We must seek opportunities to serve, especially among the saints.
We must also fight idleness as singles. We must not be given to too much pleasure or give room for too much indulgence. We must not create a platform for Satan to strike at us. Singles should not give room for loneliness but must be able to engage with other brethren and occupy ourselves profitably. We must have an attitude of praying with one another and also studying together. Singles should be hardworking. When we do all of these, along with the help of the Holy Spirit, we would conquer loneliness. Life is a riddle to be solved, therefore, we should have good understanding.
“So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” (Rom. 14:12). We would give account of our lives and our walk to God and because of this, we must be true to ourselves. We must understand this and seek knowledge. We must be enquirers of the will of God and also be able to wait on Him for what He would have us do. We should not follow what others are doing because we must give account to God. Rather, we should stay put and serve Him as if we have no other life option. We should not copy others, but wait on the Lord to direct us. We must not adopt the philosophies of the world but rather take the instructions of the Spirit.
We must be able to submit to spiritual authority, so that we would not fall where others have fallen. We must attach ourselves to godly believers who have gone ahead, so that we do not make the same mistakes they have made. Some mistakes need not reoccur in our lives, if only we can look to God and those whom He has raised and has placed over us.
We must not dwell in the wrong places — the places of the ungodly. We must stay in our company — the company of Christ — and there, the Lord would lead us and cause us to be found by the person He has designed for us.